More Than We Can Handle | Traumatic Brain Injury

Days after my son's auto accident, I sat silently by his hospital ICU bed and scrolled through messages family, friends and acquaintances had sent. The sheer mass of messages was an act of compassion I had never witnessed, much less experienced being the recipient of.

Our boy is loved. That's what a mother thinks when she reads the well wishes and words from so many.

I knew most of the people personally and at a time like that I was really proud of the village that surrounded us. His dad and I both come from large families, families that watched over him and loved him almost as deeply as we had. He was a three sport athlete and those "families" were right there along too, I read it in their words. And I watched them throughout the years as they treated my son as one of their own during the many, many years of watching games together. We became parents at a very young age so Lyric was the lone "little guy" for years in both family and friend circles so he was especially treasured, some might say spoiled - really depends on who you ask, even still.

Even strangers who I had not met but in his short life he had shared a moment with, they shared small notes of encouragement, how they knew Lyric and what he meant to them. And they all sent prayers. In all of those messages, which I merely glanced through - because let's face it, there was just too much going on to really have the time, focus or want to process - I remember one message in particular. It was short and to the point and when I finished, I remember feeling the great sense of annoyance, almost anger.

".....and remember, God only gives us as much as we can handle."

You've got to be kidding, I thought to myself. I don't know why I had such a strong reaction to those words. At the time I think I was just angry with God as this was all happening to him and to us. And those words were just it for me. I didn't want to hear something like that again, and who was this person to remind me of 'what God gives us'? Like I wasn't acutely aware of what God "gives".

This wasn't something that I could handle.

Looking back now, I think being a boy Mom always meant there was a sense of thrill and most likely a bit more risk in my child getting hurt. Because as they say, boys will be boys. And Lyric was 100% boy. I watched it during countless innings of baseball; during those big games where he gave and occasionally took those hard hits; those tree limbs that couldn't help but be jumped from or those mountains he conquered with ease. He was a seeker of all things - fun and a bit edgy being at the top of that list.

I had handled all of that, with ease if I'm being honest, because I got a front row seat to a boy just being himself. I handled that, but this was just not possible.

But as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, Lyric held on. As he laid in coma for more days that I can count, he battled through. He fought not only to survive but he fought, stilly and silently and he did it with a fierceness that even the medical teams had to acknowledge as astounding.

As he woke and learned of where he had been, he eagerly pushed through the intense therapies, learning how to breath on his own, how to talk, how to walk and yes even how to swallow again. You name it, he conquered it. He did it with that same fierceness that I had watched him grow up with. The 'what's next?' mentality to get to the good part. He put in the work.

And those were just the physical tasks he had to overcome. With TBI there is so much we don't see, which is why it's known as the invisible illness. He still puts in the work.

And throughout all of that, and still to this day the 'God gives us' phrase always gets me, now slightly differently with a new perspective. As much as it frustrated me I began to learn that the friend who sent that note was actually right, God only gives us what we can handle. I had initially read it wrong, feeling sorry for myself I related it to what I (or our family) could handle. God wasn't giving us punishment.

But He knew what Lyric could handle.

I guess this is where you should know I write this as someone who isn't versed in religion. I grew up with church but for me that grew more into a strong sense faith and spirituality.

God gave him what he knew he could handle.

As his mom, (and probably like most Moms) I always thought L was meant to do something great. Do I think this is it? I could lie and say yes, because what he has 'handled' is great but I believe that this is merely part of his story. The picture below is proof of that.

Lyric and Pastor Derrick fresh from his recent Baptism. His baptism was everything to witness - not a dry eye in the building

I share all of this to simply remind you that even in the toughest of moments remember that you are capable of handling so much more than you can imagine. With support, time and healing your perspective can change and you never know where that may lead.

Be patient with others and especially yourself.

~Kristi